Jessica & Steve

Stephen's Legacy

A Tribute to My Dad
By Jessica Phinney

In November I watched my Dad’s health decline to the point of being mere breaths away from meeting Jesus. Thankfully, God said, “I’m not finished with him yet”. I experienced a roller coaster of emotions and that got me thinking. Why do we pay tribute to the people we love the most after they’re gone from this earth? Wouldn’t I want the world to know the amazing person my father is, this side of heaven? That’s when I heard God say, “Write a tribute.” So I’m humbly asking you to join me as God writes through my fingers about a man I love with all my heart.

The first 20 years of my father’s life were not what you would call easy or ideal. As the 4th child in a military family, he spent his early years moving often and changing schools almost yearly. From the beginning, health issues brought close calls with death. His formative years held financial hardship, serious sibling rivalry, encounters in the world, and opposition from those who’s love he wanted the most. I often marvel at the work God did in redeeming my father’s heart when he came from so much pain. Part of that redemption came through a young woman who was raised with loving parents, God’s values, and a servant’s heart. That woman was my mother. She captured my father with her kindness in helping him find a job when they barely knew one another. (Her long brown hair and captivating smile helped a little too!). That job “happened to be” helping handicapped people in a residential facility where they were both cottage supervisors. This is the part where I get to say, “the rest is history”. They were married a year later on June 24, 1977.

The years passed with lots of growing pains, job changes, and moving. My mom never thought that when she said “I do”, supporting dad would take her away from everything familiar. First it was Colorado. In June of 1990, came the shocking 122 degree Phoenician desert! Along with the way, they were blessed with 3 blonde-haired, blue- eyed baby girls-- Abigail Grace (12/2/78), Elizabeth Marie (11/23/80), and Jessica Louise (2/15/84). Stephen’s quiver was full and with it came Cinderella rides, Jack-the-Journey bedtime stories, baby dolls, family tickling sessions, bike rides, picnics & camping, a far share of rough housing, and eventually, home schooling. As much as my father wanted a son, he quickly came to realize he wouldn’t trade his girls. He got spoiled a whole lot more with a house full of women!

My father is not a man who merely talks the talk. He lives his legacy and he does it with passion, guts, strength, and dependency on His Groom--Jesus Christ. I have never met a man like him. He has no greater joy then to serve his family and the Body of Christ with the gifts that God has given him. Many don’t like him because of it. They call him names, ridicule his biblical views, slander his family, and mock our close family ties. Still, he turns the other cheek, offers himself to them once again, freely giving the gift of reconciliation. Nothing hurts a daughter more than to see her family attacked for standing for God’s biblical design, especially when your father takes the beating that was meant for you. He is an inspiration and example of “no matter the cost you stand for TRUTH.” When others gossip and speak lies, live for Jesus. When your friend betrays you, live for Jesus. When your plans come crashing down around you, live for Jesus. When the enemy tries to divide your family, live for Jesus. And when popular world views oppose Biblical truth, live for Jesus.

My father isn’t perfect. My family isn’t either. We have had our fair share of pain, struggles, conflict, and disappointments through 30 years of ministry, including 10 years as a pastor. As others will attest, living in a glass house or “fish bowl”, as we like to say, is never easy. People put you on unrealistic pedestals only to tear you down when they realize you really are human. Dare I say that, at times, it can feel like folks actually delight in your failure? My parents have given 2 daughters in marriage, praying daily for the trials and growing pains of young love. They’ve lost 4 grandbabies through miscarriages. I have seen people get close to them so they could take from them, with no regard for their hearts. I’m not sharing this to say “look at our trials” as much as I want you to know we are REAL. Often people think my Dad’s gifting is so strong that he can take anything they dish out. They are wrong. He cries, hurts, grieves, and bleeds just like anyone else. The strength you see is because of His dependency on Christ and his mindset of “not I, but Christ”.

I have the honor and privilege of working alongside my father at our non-profit discipleship/training ministry. Being his “sidekick”, I get to see him in action in a way no one else does. It does wonders for a daughter’s heart to watch her Dad fight for righteousness, truth, and reconciliation, and show people how to exchange their life for Christ’s. I’ve witnessed him serving in quiet ways just so people won’t give him the credit. He has ministered countless hours every week with little or no thanks while willingly living on support so God’s calling for his life can be fulfilled. I just can’t refrain from saying that, to me, he is an amazing man of God!

One of the best things about being his daughter is the knowledge that I am protected. He is my warrior and my hero. He fights for truth, women, children, and family with a passion that few men, I know, possess. He supports my convictions on biblical relationships, my choice not to date, and to have my parental authorities involved when, one day, my future husband comes along. I watch him fight for me while young men blame him, dishonor him, and cast insults at him for a decision that I have made. They erroneously think he is some kind radical, forcing his views on his poor unsuspecting daughter when, in reality, it’s me who’s the radical, fighting for the hope of a godly marriage. He is a servant-leader to his family, fighting so we don’t have to.

I watch the way he woos my mother’s heart after 31 years of marriage and know my God has a plan. I experience the way he wraps his arms around his daughters when our worlds are crumbling and I know my God is Abba. I watch the way he lays his life down for his sons-in-law and I know my God is sacrificial. I watch the way he crawls around with his granddaughters and know my God is love. I watch him play swords with his grandson and know my God is a warrior. And I watch him take a stand for truth in any circumstance and know that my God is a leader.

My father’s legacy is Malachi 4:6 “and he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse.” The thing I find so ironic is that I always had my father’s heart, spiritually speaking. Yet, I almost lost his physical heart to a viral attack that caused congestive heart failure and sought to take what God had given me. I will be forever thankful that God said, “Stephen, I’m not finished with you yet.” God quite literally restored his heart back to me, and because of that, my father will continue to fight for his legacy—to redeem, restore, and reconcile!

My challenge to you is the very same challenge God gave me. Open your eyes to see the relationships and loved ones He has given you. Our days on this earth are numbered. Show these special people your honor, appreciation, and love for who they are to you. Take a leap of faith and build relationships and serve the Body of Christ where God has planted you. And above all else, never doubt He has a plan for your life! A Privileged and Blessed Daughter - Jessi

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